How to Have More Fun Together For Parent Couples
Fun is the secret ingredient to a happy marriage filled with laughter and joy. But sometimes for busy moms, the fun gets shadowed out by a sea of responsibility. Learn how to bring the fun back into your relationship after having kids and watch your marriage begin to thrive again!
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Where does the fun go?
Your marriage before kids was probably full of fun.
Date night meant going bowling or dancing at a new club. You met up with friends after work for a drink. You could binge all the Netflix in the world on the couch all day with bags upon bags of microwave popcorn and candy.
And then you had a baby.
Suddenly the fun in your marriage becomes taking a nap together. Which, let’s be real, is great but not that much FUN.
You become so overwhelmed with responsibility and exhaustion that fun seems to just disappear altogether from your life. The laughter and ability to let loose that you had before kids just seeps slowly out of your marriage.
You find yourself as the zombie-mom versions of yourself, getting caught up in never-ending to-do lists and having little time or energy for something as frivolous as fun.
Unfortunately this can quickly wreak havoc on your poor marriage that relied on fun as a foundation to your happiness before kids.
What happens when there’s no fun left in your marriage
A marriage without fun is doomed to suffer from a variety of unpleasant issues.
Roommate syndrome
You and your husband may suffer from “roommate syndrome,” or feeling like you just live together under the same roof without any connection or intimacy. Your interactions consist of logistics more than laughter.
Resentment
Scorekeeping begins and you start to build a deep-held anger inside you towards your husband when you feel like he isn’t helping out enough. And when you aren’t having fun together in any other way, you can quickly be eaten up by the resentment. Then you may begin picking fights or questioning if you love even love your husband anymore.
Stress
You get bogged down by the responsibility of parenting and drown under your never-ending to-do list, making you overwhelmed, exhausted, quick to snap – generally not the most pleasant person to be around.
No intimacy
Fun helps us connect with our husbands, and when you have no connection, you don’t have any sex drive either. So even though sex in itself is fun, you can’t bring yourself to want to do it, and you end up in a cyclical spiral downward into a sexless marriage.
The importance of fun in your marriage with kids
As you can see, having fun is a necessity in your marriage as a mom if you want to be the best version of yourself for yourself and for your relationship.
Having more fun naturally melts away stress, makes your to-do list suddenly seem much shorter, and brings joy back to your otherwise mundane routine. It helps lighten the weight of otherwise crushing responsibility so that you can breathe long enough to find YOU again.
That fun-loving YOU you were before you had kids is still in there. She wants to come out and play. And more than likely your husband is waiting for his best friend to come out and play, too (you’re his best friend by the way).
Fun takes you back to a place where you and your husband enjoy talking about silly things and have crazy sex and work together as a team. It brings joy and life and laughter into your marriage – key ingredients for a happy and enduring relationship.
Finding connection through fun
Having fun with your husband is my best recommendation for finding connection again.
Laughing, being silly, and playing games are going to help you feel like the best friends that you have to be in order to also have a successful marriage as parents.
Think back to the days when you were dating and how you first fell in love. Your husband made you laugh, you loved spending time together doing new things, and you got to know each other by talking about everything in the world.
Channel those early dating days and revive your marriage by bringing the fun in each other out again!
Let your kids inspire you
As a kid, you were a master of fun. You lived for it. You craved it. You found it everywhere in everything.
And then you grew up and let life beat you down with its harsh adult realities and you slowly lost your child-like sense of fun.
But you can get it back!
Reflect on your amazing new abilities as a mom to make the world fun and magical for your kids. And then channel those same skills into your marriage. With just a little effort, your marriage can be just as fun and magical as the world you create for your children.
Let your children teach you how to make mundane tasks into a game. To use your imagination. To be playful. To laugh.
These are all skills that you can apply together with your husband to have a fun marriage full of joy and love.
Easy ways to have more fun together for parent couples
Having fun together doesn’t have to be just one more thing for you to coordinate or plan out or stress over. Having fun should be FUN!
Try these easy ways to integrate fun into your life together with your husband and get ready to let the good times roll.
Date from home
Dating in general is an amazing and necessary way for you and your husband to connect as spouses outside of your roles as parents.
I recommend dating at home in particular because there are absolutely no excuses that stand in the way for you to do it! No babysitters. No budgets. Just the two of you having fun.
You can try doing new things together, talk, laugh, and even maybe turn up the heat for intimacy when you have dedicated date time. It is a way for you both to make an active effort for each other again and maybe even give yourselves some of the butterflies that may have long since disappeared from your marriage.
As busy parents, you may think that the work involved in planning a great date night, even from home, is a little overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be!
Check out my fully-planned step-by-step at-home date night guides that are guaranteed to give you and your husband an evening to remember!
Find unique activities to do together
Watching a movie together can be a fun activity sometimes, but how often do you find yourselves “watching a movie” only to fall asleep or scrolling on your respective phones without actually interacting?
Change up your routine by playing games, learning new skills, or watching something totally new and crazy (like a rodeo, surfing competition, or Cirque du Soleil show) that is going to keep you and your husband engaged throughout.
You probably have your kids’ toys, games, and other supplies already in your home that you can use to mix it up and try some out-of-the-box new activities that will leave you both laughing and feeling in love.
Find tons of unique activities you can do together at home on the Activities and Ideas page.
Talk about things other than parenting logistics
“How was your day, dear?”
“Fine. How was your day?”
“Oh fine. Did you remember to pick up diapers on your way home?”
“Yep.”
“OK.”
*Silence*
This kind of cold and shallow conversation does not a happy marriage make!
Instead, try bringing a little fun (if not total randomness) back to your dinnertime chats.
“Which deceased celebrity do you wish could join us for dinner today?”
“Would you rather live in a mansion but never be able to leave your state or live in a tiny apartment but be able to travel the world?”
“Who would win in a fight between a great white shark and a giant squid?”
Throw out some of these conversation starter bad boys and suddenly your discussions are looking a little more lively!
Talking about fun, weird, and sometimes totally random things is a great way to reconnect with your husband. You get to learn things you never knew about him before and laugh while enjoying your time together discussing silly and unique topics.
Find inspiration for your next chat with the article 45+ Fun Conversation Ideas for Married Couples With Kids To Get Your Husband Talking.
Be playful
Take a cue from your kids and have fun playing!
As we grow older playing becomes something of the past, but playing is a great way to laugh and connect with your partner.
Channel your inner child and find quick and easy ways to integrate play into your daily routine together with your husband. Play rock paper scissors to decide who empties the dishwasher. Take turns picking the next song you both can sing while you prepare dinner. Try the bottle flip challenge from TikTok.
You’re already in a playful frame of mind when you are together with your kids. Now you just have to expand that playfulness to your marriage!
Get more great ideas with the article “99 Quick and Easy Ways To Be Playful In Your Relationship.”
Make a game of doing chores
Who actually likes doing chores?
Well, you might if you find ways to make them a fun activity to do together with your husband!
If getting your husband to help out with the chores is a chore within itself, try making your tasks something fun and relaxing to encourage him to help out. Bonus, it makes doing chores more fun for you, too.
You can gamify your household tasks by placing bets, racing, or giving each other rewards for helping out.
Instead of nagging your husband to help you fold the laundry, for example, try betting him that you can fold your basket faster than he can fold his basket, and the loser has to put the clothes from both baskets away where they go. Suddenly clothes folding is a fun competition that will have you both giggling, teasing each other, and having fun rather than arguing.
Read the article “7 Easy Ways to Have Fun Doing Chores Together In Your Marriage” to get more ideas.
Find shared interests
“We don’t have anything in common anymore” is a complaint from women in struggling relationships that is regrettably all too common.
When you are so busy taking care of kids and jobs and households and all the things, you may tend to pursue your own interests separately from each other as you have windows of time for them. Then, when you have time to spend together, you realize that maybe you don’t share many of the same hobbies anymore.
Don’t worry!
Chances are that at the very least, you enjoy sharing new experiences together. If you don’t feel like you have anything in common, spend your time together trying things that are new for the both of you. The novelty will be fun regardless of the activity and you may just stumble upon a new shared interest.
Try also assessing if you don’t actually have way more things in common than you think. Your common interests don’t have to be outright hobbies like playing tennis or woodworking. Maybe you simply both like watching cute puppies on TikTok or you both enjoy putting together DJ-worthy playlists for different occasions.
Find the things that you both enjoy – they exist! – and enjoy each other’s company while you enjoy your activities together. That’s the most important part.
Read the article “When Commonality In Your Relationship Disappears: Finding Shared Interests Again” to get more great ideas.
Let’s have some fun!
Are you ready, mama?
Don’t spend another day waiting for your marriage to magically get better as your kids grow older and you and your husband grow further apart. Take charge of your life and get the marriage you want and deserve!
Get started having more fun in your marriage now!
About me
Hi, I’m Bailee! I am a mom just like you who, after having my second baby, was struggling BIG TIME to cope with motherhood and marriage. Divorce seemed like the inevitable option until I decided to fight for the family life that I truly wanted.
I challenged my husband to give our marriage one more go and was able to pull us out of the abyss. With a change in my mindset and some other handy tools and tricks along the way, I brought us back into the light of a happy marriage with kids.
Now I am here now to help you do the same! Are you ready, mama? Learn more.
